Thursday, June 9, 2011

Don't Call It A Crawlback: The Temporary Return of Stranger In Leaf Nation

(Photo via
It's been a Recchi age since I've dropped a post for y'all on SILN. The main reason is mostly laziness, or as most people call it these days, "being busy". The other secondary reasons are the Sens inactivity since they decided not to make the playoffs this year, watching other teams play while offering them my temporary allegiance (Canucks) and trying to get Paqman & Bull to a top 100 ranking with Technorati (we were a Top 100 hockey blog for a few weeks). You can check out a few of my hockey related posts here and here.

A few stories of interest to pass along:

- The BSens have won the Calder Cup in 6 games thanks to everybody's favorite Swedish ticking timebomb and your 2011 AHL playoff MVP Robin Lehner. From what I've read on the Sens blogosphere, the Kid was lights out. The incredible part about his first year with the Pros was his journey. He was the franchise's yo-yo: called up, sent back down, played in the WJC...basically no stability. Some said that it would seriously hinder his development. So much for that. This kid has a bright future ahead of him.

- Alfie opted to get surgery to repair his nagging back issues. He should be good to go in a month and a half. Knowing Alfredsson, he'll be fully recovered the next day and will start his summer training. He is Wolverine, with more ginger.

- I lost my Sens cap! So pissed since I can't find the same style...if you see a fitted black Sens hat with a monochrome logo on the front and the "O" on the back, take that thieving mofo out and email me for shipping details.

- Looks like the Cory Clouston Fashion Review broke up with me without letting me know...which is cool since I wasn't contributing much. I still have nothing but love for that blog, and I'm a huge fan of James. I've never seen a blogger post such sporadic, borderline insane posts that are absolutely brilliant and hilarious at the same time. Anyone who drops that many Wu-Tang references is top notch in my book! Kudos to the CCFR crew and I really hope they keep the name even though Clouston is a goner. Maybe someday SILN and CCFR will make up in the McDonald's washroom on Rideau street. Only time will tell.

- I've been asked to help out a new hockey blog collective called I've contributed one post so far, and will probably keep up a "post a month" pace for the time being.

- Enough with the Spezza trade talk/bullshit. Seriously.

- Once the playoffs are done, I'm gonna write about the Sens Effect on the 2011 NHL Playoffs. ***spoiler alert: it will be awesome.***

- Did I mention my other blog, Paqman & Bull? WTF are you waiting for? Go now!

- The entry draft is around the corner and it looks like we'll get a fine prospect. I'm hoping the Sens can snag a cat like Couturier, Strome or Landeskog at the 6th spot.

If you've been waiting for a new post over the last 2 months...sorry. Expect posts every once a while until the season starts again, them I'm going hard! If you don't give a shit, I'm sorry you're a Leafs fan and a jerk.

-Marc P

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Spezzanswer Comes Through Again

Practice??!! I ain't...I mean...I love practice! (Photo kinda via
20 points in 13 games. 4 points against the Flyers last night. Simply awesome. When the Captain is away, Spezza plays. We all know why Old Man Murray never traded away Spezza. It comes down to the fact that he's kinda important. All the criticism he's received over the years is irrelevant. He has become so crutial since last years booing incident that resulted in the potential of another Heatley saga. And this really shows the major difference between the afformentioned diva and the Sens #1 centre: he isn't a douchebag. Spezza has always been an essential cog in this machine and will continue to play that role until his time in O-town is over. His defensive game has flourished with his added responsibility, especially on the PK. Does anyone miss Kelly or Fisher? I certainly don't. The team has killed 86 of their last 92 penalty kills coming in at a cool 93% (by my count). Impressive indeed.

Quit Yer Crying

Dear Sens Fans, stop crying over our draft position. Sure they might pick between 4th to 6th but that prospect will be a fine addition to the system. Taking into consideration what the team currently has in term of young blood, I think we're doing ok. I'm enjoying their play as of late. A sign of things to come? Most definetly positively yes. The kids are playing like every game is their last game. Hope this carries over to training camp.

Mais DeCosta...Ou est-il???

Êtes-vous surpris des résultats du jeune DaCosta depuis son arrivée avec les Sénateurs? Si vous avez dit oui, il faut comprendre qu'il arrive d'un système collégial. Il faudrait aussi comprendre qu'il a joué avec des athlètes de son âge et n'a pas d'expérience dans la LNH contre des vétérans d'expérience. Tous comme Bobby Butler, qui a compté son premier but au rang des professionnels à son 12e match, il faut démontrer la patience et lui donner le temps de développer son jeu et rôle avec les Sénateurs. J'espère grandement qu'il aura la chance de jouer avec Les Sénateurs de Binghamton durant les séries éliminatoire de la LAH. Cette expérience lui permettra de s'adapter au style de jeu que je digne nécessaire pour son succès. Alors, bonne chance M. DaCosta! Je vous souhaite que du succès...that took forever. A little rusty on that front.

Clouston Can't Get a Clue

Word on the street is that Sir Cory of Clouston wants to stay behind the bench next season. The Euge announced that he will make his decision within the next few days. Will the Sens recent surge validate a new contract for Clouston? Some might say yes...I'm saying no. He's not the right guy for this club. If he grew a backbone and stuck to want he was trying to sell...then maybe. I heard that Guy Carbonneau is a possible candidate (which the Gatineau residents would love) but I'm on Team Muller. I like Captain Kirk and believe that he would be the right fit, as long as Martin didn't rub off on him too much.

The Cloustonian Tie Color Effect hasn't been updated for quite a long time for a few reasons: 1) I was sick and tired of adding up the loses in the totals, 2) I couldn't catch the games on TV or via stream and 3) I got lazy. With that said, the winning tie that would've brought them fashionable success in the playoffs is......

Aubergine with Purple and White Stripes - 2 W 0 L

Experiment complete.

Everybody Loves a Non-Winner

I'm trying to not hurt any feelings by using non-winner...who am I kidding...Leafs are yet again losers and miss the playoffs for a 6th straight year. I found it quite comical when Leafs Nation TV Toronto Sports Network TSN claimed that the Leafs had a "great" season..or was it a "successful" season...doesn't matter how you spin it, it was a fail. Anything short of the playoffs = unsuccessful and not great. But I did take great joy in pumping up the spirits of Leafs fans for the last month by telling them that they were making the playoffs. I had a gut feeling (that pattern from the last 6 years aslo helped) that they were not going to make the cut.

This is what happens when the team you cheer for has a shitty season. You try to bring others down with you.

-Marc P

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Why I Strongly Dislike the Leafs : Reason # 3

This will be a continuing series exploring all the reasons why I loathe the Leafs. There is no logic behind the order because my disdain cannot be ranked.

Reason #3: Leafs trolls. Particularly Leafs trolls on TSN. Even though the story has nothing to do with their team, Leafs trolls find a way to drop some stupid comment that further escalates everyones hatred for these fanatics. F'in Leafs trolls.

Leafs troll comments from TSN's "SENATORS LAND HIGHLY-TOUTED COLLEGE FREE AGENT DA COSTA" article, which has nothing to do with Toronto:

This seems like something the Habs would do... go get Frenchy!!! Kids going to be a bust, he takes the heat off all the regulars players for the Sens who have played awful this season, Go Leafs Go! Hey Sens fans how did it feel to be out of playoff contention back in january:)

Hey Sens fans don't be playing the hero card just yet last time I checked you're in the basement. You better have something to show for Chara, Volchenkov, Redden, Heatley, Fisher, and Kelly. None of the prospects you have mentioned will be = any of the players mentioned above. Have fun with the gut job

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Anderson Running Away With Your Votes

Anderson really wants Karzai's hat. Trade for Senators PJs? (Photo kinda via

As a Federal election looms, a new candidate has burst onto the scene. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present your new representative for Carleton-Mississippi Mills and Prime Minister hopeful: Craig Anderson.

His platform includes:

- heavy investments in the Department of Defense
- option to veto any new Senators
- zero tolerance for "elitist" Media dissension towards his team
- infusion of young talent into his party for a fresh perspective and palpable energy

Mr Anderson is committed to a four year term and will consider his options once that time has passed.

His catch line: 'I'll take one in the chest, arm, or leg for the team."

Harper doesn't stand a chance. I'm positive he'll throw mud at the Anderson Movement with statements like "He didn't come here for you" or "Anderson formed a previous coalition", but do not believe a word of it. Be strong and make the right choice.

4 More Years

This is late (so don't hate). I wanted to wait a few days before posting my opinion on Anderson's new contract with the Sens. My initial thoughts on the signing remain: money for the new #1 is fair, NTC and NMC are absent which is great and length of the contract is...well...too long. Anderson had most of the chips during the negotiations, and it seems like he wanted security with the 4 year re-up. On the flip side, it wasn't a 5 to 7 year deal. If that would've been the case, I would've lost my mind. 4 years is a mid sized contract in term of years. I prefer 2 to 3 years, especially for a guy that has played such a small sample of games for Ottawa, to assure that the investment isn't a knee jerk reaction. Others will say that the team needed a guy like Anderson. I'll be the first to admit that he has brings confidence and swagger to the club, which was terribly needed. This signing gets the SILN seal of approval...still feel that's it 1 year too long.

What about Lehner? According to an interview that I read with Lehner and Bingo beat writer Joy Lindsay, he is learning the English language and is ready to play with the B-Sens for the next few years to develop his game after meeting with Old Man Murray. So we can expect the Lehner-niac to challenge for the #1 spot within the next few years.

Winning by Committee

The Sens have been without their Captain for what seems like an eternity. Another sad chapter in the longest season in ages. It's weird seeing this team play without their Captain for a huge portion of the year. But there is a bright side to all of this: Spezza has stepped up huge since Alfie went down. Kinda makes me wonder what would have been if Spezza was around during that massive losing streak that determined the fate of this season. What if they went .500 during the losing streak? Or even .750? Would they be fighting for a playoff spot?

The kids keep impressing and are producing with the ice time they have be awarded. Greening, Condra, and Butler continue to show that they belong with the club and are putting up impressive auditions for next year. This team will be fun to watch for the next few years, even though they might really suck.

Another Saturday Hiatus

The Sens are playing this afternoon at 2 against the Thrashers, which is the Game of the Day in Uzbekistan. Anderson starts again for a team that has won 7 of their last 10 games. So they are one of the hottest clubs in the league. Too bad it doesn't count for much except pride. The pride of winning when it doesn't count and working for next season. Awesome.

-Marc P

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Matt Cooke Wears a Ronaldo Jersey

You can kick a goal in on this playing surface, sir. (Photo kinda via cbc,ca)
Defense! Where have you gone? I know you don't like hanging out in Ottawa but I wish you would live here permanently.

Here are a few things you might like about Ottawa:

- Beaver Tails: I know that you have a sweet tooth Big D. This pastry delight will satisfy your needs.

- the Byward Market: the epicenter of the Nation's Capital. You can enjoy shopping, eating and the Parliament is but a hop and skip away. Will lead to the perfect opportunity to lobby the Harper Government the Conservatives Rising Stevie and the Harperites the Government of Canada to make them understand that headshots and blindside hits are regular every game hockey plays. Concussions are a myth.

- Empty Streets: no one is on the streets after 8 PM from Sunday to Thursday. A perfect haven for street hockey.

So there you have it, dear Defense. Ottawa is a city of choice.

Coaching Ain't Easy (Unless Your Name is Bylsma)

Bylsma should get the Jack Adams. Disco Dan is icing a team without 2 offensive juggernauts (who happen to be All-Stars) and the Pens consistently win. How is this possible? Dude can coach. His players have totally commited to his system. As we've seen on 24/7, he's a new school manager. It's easy to Boudreau the shit out of your players, but he doesn't (btw Boudreau should stop talking to the Media and eliminate the Joe Louis/twinkies/gravy on a Kaiser snack from his diet).

The way I saw it streamed last night, Clouston was outcoached from the jump. So much for that last change advantage.

Kickin' It

Here's what the rule book says about using your skate to score a goal:

Rule 49 - Kicking
49.1 Kicking – The action of a player deliberately using his skate(s) with a kicking motion to propel the puck or to contact an opponent.
49.2 Goals - Kicking the puck shall be permitted in all zones. A goal cannot be scored by an attacking player who uses a distinct kicking motion to propel the puck into the net. A goal cannot be scored by an attacking player who kicks a puck that deflects into the net off any player, goalkeeper or official.
A puck that deflects into the net off an attacking player’s skate who does not use a distinct kicking motion is a legitimate goal. A puck that is directed into the net by an attacking player’s skate shall be a legitimate goal as long as no distinct kicking motion is evident.
Let me start by saying that this rule is dumb. Whether its a redirection or a kicking motion I believe it should count. I can see how a "skate kick" can lead to injuries with that blade, all sharp and all. Safety first, right?
Most NHL teams kick around a soccer ball as a pre game warm up. They sometimes use their skates as a scoring method which might happen by instinct. In the end, rules are rules and the Cooke goal should not have counted. According to what I saw, that was a distinct kicking motion that resulted in a goal (that deflected off Anderson). The goal gave the Pens a 3 goal lead and that was it. Not saying that this is the reason they lost the game (they played a poor game...really poor game). It certainly didn't help.

Red Card

The more the press, Goverment and NHL sponsors talk about headshots, the more they are happening. Heatley (puke in mouth), Murray and Marchand all decided to get in on the fun last night. Heatley got 2 games for his headshot. The others...who knows? The NHL Wheel of Justice will decide.

I can talk about this for days. In the end, the responsibility falls on the players. You can have new rules, fancy new league approved gear, gym mattresses pasted along the board...the players are accountable for their actions and that's it. The League should be more aggressive on this hot subject...or the NHLPA should create a board to deal with their members. Justice can be served, unless the head hunter plays for the Bruins.

PS I hate Kuba

-Marc P

Sunday, March 13, 2011

In Which I Decided to Start A New Blog

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Since the 28th of February, I've done jack shit. Or have I?

Before I get into the reason for the slacking, I'll talk about the Sens for a second. They have been one of the hottest team in league over the last 10 games and this can be attributed to the work Old Man Murray did before the trade deadline. Anderson has been a revelation with a GAA under 1.50, save % over .950, and a 6-3 record in 9 games since being acquired from Colorado. He's been money night in and night out. The same can't be said about Elliott, who went over to the Avs in the swap. The terms "shitting the bed" or "hate to say I told you so" are not enough. 

Throw in McElhinney, who was claimed off waivers from Tampa, and you have two solid goaltenders who look more like stand up goalies, rather than butterfly style. This duo has given the entire team some much needed confidence and stability. Let's not forget the play of the Kids after the Great Exfoliation of 2011. Condra, Greening and Butler have been incredible since they have become regulars with the team. I might have said this before (and I have), the future for this team isn't as bleak as all the fans think it might be. The next 2 years will be tough but there is so much to look forward to.

Paqman & Bull

So I've started a new blog,, with a like minded friend named Turnbull. We started this a few weeks ago and it would be mad cool if you checked it out and got your subscription on. 

Our mission statement is "Purveyors of Exclusive Insight on Music, Sport and Culture". That pretty much say it all, no? Head on over, Like it on Facebook, subscribe by email, subscribe by whatever feels nice!
We're also looking for your thoughts and opinion on the blog. Any feedback is much appreciated.

-Marc P

Monday, February 28, 2011

Damn it! or The Deleted Agony and Ensuing Anger

( photo via )
Here's my crappy post since I somehow deleted the real one on my Blackberry...

Campoli traded.

Phillips signs for 3 years.

Leafs are on the cusp of not making the playoffs again.

Ottawa Sun will have a headline with "Trade Dud-line" in it.

I still love my Berry, but God Damn!!!


Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Beginning is The End is the Beginning: Bald Billy Corgan Edition

YOU SUCK LIKE JAMES IHA! ( photo kinda via )
The next points will allow you to find out if you're are a spoiled brat NHL fan. If more than one of these apply to you, consider yourself either a) a bitch ass homer or b) a Leafs fan:

- Your team played poorly all season, and you're telling everyone you know that they should blow up this team. You also get very angry after every loss.

- After your team played poorly all season, they start winning a few games. You find a need to start bitching about the wins since it will reduce the teams chance to get that #1 overall pick in the draft.

- A player that has been with your team for 150 gerbil years tries to squash trade rumors swirling around him. This player wants to stay and help this team get back to their winning ways. You believe that he's acting selfishly and should be a man, waive his NTC, let the team get prospects or picks for his rental services and resign with that same team that traded him. That is totally fair.

- You believe that not making it to the playoffs is better than squeaking in and getting blasted by a top 4 seed. Experience means nothing, especially if your team is built around youth.

Today (or a couple days ago) Is the Greatest Day I've Ever Known

The Great Crtl-Alt-Del of 2011 continues with the departure of KHL All-Star Alexei Kovalev. On his birthday no less. Ottawa gets 100 jumbo hotdogs, 102 hotdog buns, a set of Zamboni tires(slightly used) and 4 milk crates for pucks. A part of me believes that this is too little too late. The other part says good riddance. The Euge will save about a hundred trillion this year (prorated based on his 3 hundred trillion billion deal) by dumping the Frustrating One.

Sir, best of luck with the Penguins and I hope you enjoy your Captaincy with the Kazakhstan Killers next season.

Despite all my Rage I need to Start Posting more Frequently And I'm Still Just a Rat in a Cage

The Sens won a couple, lost one yesterday and play Philly tonight.

Everyone's money is on the Flyers tonight, but don't be surprised if the Sens keep it within a 6 goal deficit for the loss tonight.

In the words of the Great Billy Corgan : "I fucking told you that this town sucks! Did I fucking tell you this town sucks? I fucking told you. I didn't want to play here."


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Crisis On Infinite Rinks

Who would've thought that Kelly was worth a second round pick? Boston did. The Bruins are winding up for a long playoff run with the addition of Kelly, who does basically everything well except scoring. This leaves me wondering how many more Senators (past and present) the Bruins will attempt to acquire. The Rumor mongerers believe that Phillips is on his way to Beantown for some more picks. I have more to say about Phillips later in the post, so please keep reading.

Conrad from the CCFR made a great point: What the hell is Burke, the Leafs overlord, doing with his roster? He traded a young forward for picks (they desperately need them) one day. Then he trades for a boat-full of truculence in the form of Voros for a very low draft pick. So what's the deal? 1 goal for and 2 goals against (this is my failed play on the whole 1 step forward 2 steps back saying. It is a fail since I had to explain it.) Murray is surprisingly doing this the right way; trade roster players of value for picks or prospects. Mission accomplished. 3 picks acquired over the last week, close to 8 milli purged from the cap and no salary taken in return. Looks like Gramps wants to keep his job. As the Death Cart passes through Scotiabank Place, Murray claims that he's not dead, right before the Sensamaniacs are winding up to club the old man in the noggin. This Shawvillian Villain is trying to show the Euge that he's still got it. He does not. Bring the change.

Time Crisis

The Sens played well against the Isles last night since they were down to 4 defensmen. Karlsson clocked in at 30 + minutes. The Kid can and will play. The real crisis is extra time, and not blaming the loss on injuries. The Sens improved their league leading overtime drought by losing in a shoot out. They are now 0 - 9 in extra frames this year. How lame is that? The rotten cherry on top of this pile of lameness; it took them 57 games to score a goal in the shootout. This goal was brought to you by the Russian Riddler, Kovalev, who will be appearing on a team near you.

Holy C(h)ris(t)is

Since the Fisher trade, Butler has stepped up huge in his absence. 2 multi point games in a row for a total of 4. It definitely helps when your center is Spezza. It took BB time to get rolling and he's showing that he belongs in the Bigs. He can be blamed for the Isles go ahead goal due to blown defensive coverage but let's cut him a bit of slack, right? They were playing the Isles. We can expect to see this quite often over the next 2 or 3 season from the kids. It's not like he put the puck in his own net during the Stanley Cup final. Speak of the devil...

Crisis of Priorities or Loyalty Win?

Raise your hand if you've hated on Phillips this season? Sooooo that's pretty much everybody in the Sens blogosphere. I've defended him more times than not over the last few months. We all realize that he hasn't been the same since Volchenkov left. Phillips lost his best bro and his defensive partner for years. With that said, he hasn't been the same, but we all know what he brings to the rink every night; logs tons of minutes, used heavily on the PK and plays against the opposing team's top forward line. If you were crying about Kelly leaving, you will straight up have a psychotic breakdown if Big Rig packs his bags.

So the man doesn't want to leave. From the Ottawa Sun:

“I do and I know people will call me crazy for saying that," Phillips said, "but I think you need some veteran guys that have been around to help and guide the young guys coming in. I’m okay and would take on that responsibility."

FYI Chris, you're not crazy. Phillips is the shit and this proves it big time. He's played his whole career for this organisation and wants to be a part of the solution. Phillips is not a part of the problem. Who else do we want training the likes of Cowan, Wiercioch and Gryba? He will provide stability on the blue line and will show them the ropes. I would be extremely upset if Murray trades him away, even if it's for more delicious draft picks. If he wants to stay with this team for real, he better sign a contract asap. I won't be able to take it if he decides to not waive his no-trade then walks away in the off season. It will be a flip out of Lehner proportion.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Fisher Gone: The Day After

( photo via

I was happy when I received the TSN alert about the Fisher trade to Nashville. This is the first move that will beckon a new era for Ottawa. I have no attachment to this player since a) I didn't know him personally and b) I thought he was ok. A complimentary player who worked his ass off "every shift" and didn't seem to have a bad bone in his body. Great in the community and loved by everyone in the city. But change is always good.

Here are some of the reasons why I'm ok with the trade:

- Ottawa received 2 draft picks. Talkin' about a rebuilding revolution.
- His time with the team was past due. He's 30 and his point production does not merit his salary.
- He gets to live in the city where his wife calls home. This might be a big shocker, but hockey players do have lives.
- His play has declined over the last couple years. I know that he was the leading scorer for the Sens last year with 25 goals, but that shows you how weak the team was.
- Frees up tons of cap space and allows a youngin' to step in.
- The official end of the old school Sens. Out with the old, in with the new.

Let me make this clear: he was an integral part of this team for years. We should all be thankful for his 11 years of service. Do I feel bad that he's been traded? No. He is not sad about it either. He's playing for a team in a playoff spot and his wife lives there. Is this a case of Janet Jones-ism? Quite possibly...and if it is who cares? Fisher has a right to have a happy life with his superstar wife. Do we care that a crappy Ottawa radio station banned Carrie Underwood from their station (even though they never play her JC friendly jams)? That's a parliament sized hell no. Do I have a strange habit of answering my own questions? Most definitely.

Fisher represent the Senators old school core of players. Everybody and their sisters are upset and sad about all this. At the same time, everybody was yelling bloody murder and wanted to push down on the dynamite blast machine to blow up this team. It's finally happening. The dawn of a new ice age begins now at Scotiabank Place. Fisher et al. had their chance at taking this franchise to the next level by winning a cup. They were dominant for close to 10 years. A top 5 team. Those days are long gone as we've all painfully witnessed this season. You shouldn't be sad about Fisher leaving. You should be sad about the next 2 to 4 years for the Sens. It's going to be agonizing to watch. This is what happens to a team that does not prepare for the future (like Detroit) and is on the rebuild. The quick fix doesn't fix shit. It usually backfires and you have nothing to show for it (Stillman, Comrie, Beaupre, the list goes on and on...) The Leafs can attest to this for their teams, present and past.

So long Mike. You were sometimes excellent, mostly a blue collar factory worker who always punched in with vigor for his next shift. Your time came and went. It's time for you to find a new church in the Country Music Capital. All the best...and thanks for all the Fish.

You can read my Mike Fisher obituary on the Cory Clouston Fashion Review right here.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fisher Gone

Saw this coming a country mile away. Sens trade Fisher to Nashville for 2 draft picks. Most excellent.


Sunday, February 6, 2011

3 for 1 sale: Brown Paper Bag Extravaganza.

Locate your eyes.
Followed by the mouth.
Start cutting away to create your very own custom Senators paper bag of shame! Using the scissors to cut your wrists is optional. (All photos via

The Sens are number negative goal differential with a mind boggling -57. They are the 27th worst team in the league. In other news, Spezza is back. Clouston is coaching (if you want to call it that). Kuba still sucks.

My prediction did not come to fruition. I saw the future and stated that the Sens would break their losing skid by beating the Isles. This was after the Sens beat them in January. Sweet Sidorkiewicz...I can't remember the last time it was this bad.

Here's your post all-star 3 game recap:

Empty Bag of Tricks

The Devils decided to start playing hockey again. And they beat the Sens 2 to 1. Didn't get to watch this game, but from I saw in the highlights they were beat by another broken play. A bounce, bad luck, and a goal. Lehner held his own. The Sens were terribly outshot 33 to 16. The Devils had the same amount of shots in the second period as the Sens had in the entire game. 

Kovalev is starting to heat up as he scores the only goal in the game. Clouston still hates him.

"Too Much Breaks the Bag" - Spanish Proverb

The Sens scored 5 goals!! Only problem is that Detroit scored 7. 

The Sens 6th goal, which was called a "no goal" on the ice before they consuted the NHL war room, was a killer. That denied marker would've tied the game up. I didn't understand why the refs reviewed that goal since it really didn't matter if it crossed the line or not. It was immediately waved off  thanks to that "intent to whistle" bullshit. So, that was the end of that game.

I would love to be a coach for a week. Aside from the hookers and drug buffets, I'm positive that it would be tons of fun. Here's the reason I'm saying this: I would have given Lehner the chance to finish the 2nd period, if not the entire game. Inspector Clouston yanked the young Swede after he surrendered the 4th Detroit goal. It was 4-3 in the 2nd with 10 minutes left. Everything was going in that night. The worst possible scenario happened...enter: Elliott. He thanked the coach by letting in a soft goal by Franzen, who shot from the hash marks. No screen. No deflection. 

Kovalev gets 2 goals making him the Senators MVP this year. He's so in line for a raise next season...with a different team.

Pack Those Bags

The most anticipated match up from Saturday's lineup of games: the 29th ranked team versus the 27th. There hasn't been this much buzz around a televised program since Seinfeld's "The Contest" was on it's 100th rerun. In one of the best coaching moves in recent memory, Clouston decided to put in Elliott even though Lehner beat the Isles in his last start. The result: Elliott shits the bed yet again. Lehner is put into the game to start the 2nd period.

Kovalev scored his 4th goal in 3 games which brings his total to 11. For those of you keeping track out there in the blogosphere, Kovalev scored 7 goals in 44 games before his streak of hotness. Truly, by definition, the poster boy for consistency.

The highlight of the game was Lehner standing his ground and letting the world know that getting in his way is a no-no. The 2nd period was over and Lehner was skating to the dressing room. Poulin, the Isles 5th string goalie, was skating on the same path as Lehner. It was a game of goalie chicken. Lehner decided to throw out an elbow for good measure and knocked Poulin on his ass. The 2 were seperated but it looked like the young Swede wanted to brawl. This kid is fiery. You might say he's a hot head, but he's also only 19. This is why I believe this is significant: this team needs a new attitude and Lehner has kick started the character shift. He hates to lose. I hate it when the Sens lose. We're going to be good friends.

The Ottawa Senators are on their annual Canadian west coast swing, playing the Canucks on Monday night. They return to the 613 on Wednesday, February 15th, against those Isles again. Man, I hope they end this streak before then.


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Cory Clouston Fashion Review..For Real

(photo via
I convinced my fiancé to write a fashion review of everybody's favorite Ottawa Senators coach. In case you didn't know, I've been contributing to another blog, the Cory Clouston Fashion Review, and I thought it would be fitting for it to appear on that blog instead of the one your reading right now.

Here's the direct link to the post:

And my fiancé's tumblr page, which you should tell your significant other about, or follow yourself.

Lehner starts tonight, Greening gets his first NHL appearance, Butler is your AHL all star MVP and the last, painful part of the season starts now!


Sunday, January 30, 2011

All Star Draft - I Don't Feel Bad for Kessel Edition

No surprise. (Photo via
This is a couple days late, but really couldn't help myself. Kessel picked last = priceless. This Leafer is soooooo awkward and the weirdest all star in the bunch (Backes a close can't beat up everyone into liking you). Kessel is a social imbecile who would make Ricky Gervais' character in the Office UK blush.

All Star game is today and will be epic. I'm cheering for Team Staal by default since Karlsson is playing for them.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Same Old 60 + Minutes

It usually breaks around overtime o'clock (photo via
As great as the life and times of the Ottawa Senators have been up to this point in this historic season, I do want to watch this team play. With that said, I'm officially putting Rogers Sportsnet, the Vanier of Canadian sports networks, in the Sin Bin.

If the game is on Sportsnet East, I'm screwed. Yes I do live in Toronto but I'm always forced to watch the game via a terrible stream that is barely viewable.

The network in question offers multiple time shit shift channels that are always blacked out. FREE ADVICE: Do hockey fans a major solid and pony up the dough to get national coverage with the NHL. Your hockey experts are the worse in the hockey macrocosm, with Kyperos taking most of the credit for that (we're cool Mendes). Shame on you Rogers for overcharging me on my monthly bill and giving me this sub par product you call a sports network. FYI broadcasting live video of sports talk radio shows and showing poker games 24/7 gives you zero credibility as a sports provider.

The TSN Highlight Game Recap

Based on the boxscore and a 40 second highlight reel, the Sens held their own. Blown defensive assignments seem to be the reason for the Sabres goals, which should not come to a surprise to any of us. The Sens outshot their opponent for the 246th game in a row, but haven't realized as of yet that low quality shots usually don't find their way to the back of the net. Especially against a cat like Miller.

Kuba is the New Word for Suck, Weak and Everything Else

Happy that Kuba was scratched again last night. Can this continue until his contract runs out?

Overtime Blame Game

A lot of fellow bloggers on the Sensernet are not fans of Mr. Phillips (Big Rig is possibly the worst nickname ever) which is understandable seeing that he kuba-ed all season long. He has made some game changing mistakes in the last 40 games. And all this in his contract year. I'm feeling everyone's frustation with the alternate captain. He hasn't looked the same without Volchenkov.

The overtime winning goal for Buffalo was not his fault. He had his man covered. Then Pominville came to apply more pressure to free the puck off the boards (which he did) while Phillips was already fighting with Vanek. Elsewhere, Karlsson and Michalek were standing around looking at the play develop. We're all aware of what happens when we play sports and become spectators... "Hey what's that? Oh its a Sabres defenseman heading for the net with a head full of steam. Good skater...How did he get the puck?". Game over.

We Are on the Same Page, but Reading From Different Books

How can anyone take this franchise seriously? We have Melnyk speaking somewhat candidly with the Ottawa Sun one day, then No-worry Murray crying to the press the next day saying that he wants to stay on as the grand puba, while claiming that the team is one year away. They've been one year away for 4 years already! Here's the deal: this team needs fresh blood and a new philosophy in the office (a warm body less than 60 years old would be refreshing).

What freaks me out the most has to be this plan that Melnyk spoke about. What do you MEAN you've been working on a plan? A succession plan? A rebuild the roster plan? A I-need-to-stay-away-from-Marc-before-he-hunts-me-down plan? I pray to Alfie's holy ball hair that he's not getting his insider trading fingers into this team's operation. What next? Pierre McGuire as GM? Hahahahaha. That would be the next level of nonsense to bring this team to the lowest degree of ridicule. Get an established seasoned GM or assistant that can pick up the pieces left by the Advisor-in-Waiting and focus on not signing Pavel Bure or Oleg Petrov. Draft it to success. And use the prospect in the system.


Ottawa Sun Sports Headline Gold - Stank Edition

I try to be somewhat creative with my post titles (I guess you can call them headlines). I've often wondered how the journalistic geniuses at the Ottawa Sun develop their brilliant headlines. This unlimited series will display these life changing nuggets of literary gold as they become available to us unworthy troglodytes.

From the online edition published on January 25th 2010:

Sens’ barn has stench to it


Saturday, January 22, 2011


(photo via )

What more can be said? 3 goals in 2 games. 13 goals against in that same span. And Butler, the best Sens forward for the last few games, has been sent down to Bingo...damn.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Novertime...IN HELL!!!!

This explains so much ( photo via, with minor modifications by me)
1 point. The Sens will take comfort in this point, satisfied with a job somewhat well done. As they try to sleep, the uneasy feeling "of almost there" will keep coming back, swirling in their nightmares and they will suddenly wake up drenched, much like if you were skating over an unfrozen rink. The Number of the Beast appears and that number is 1! Hallowed be thy name Hiller. You are evil and I bow down to you know why he's an all-star.


He was on point. He made the timely saves to keep those Ducks in the game. 178 feet away, Elliott did his work better than I've seen him perform in a long ass time. Brian, thanks for stopping pucks since your job is stopping pucks.

Here's a big ole nugget of a fact: the Sens are the ONLY team that haven't won a game in overtime or a shootout this season. Isn't that some shit? I wonder if a team has played 82 games without winning a game in the extra frame and/or shootout?

Only 35 games to go until we find out.

Divine Castration

The 27th ranked team that I root for played, arguably, their most complete game of the season. Winning the battles that let you win games: board play was awesome and the attack was....well...attacking. I'm scratching my beer gut wondering if this Hiller guy is that good or if the Sens are that impotent on offense.


Milan looked awesome last night, driving the net and getting some quality chances. Looks like the knees are back and the dilithium crystal are almost at full capacity. Next on the docket: get those hands back.

His bitch is Alfred. Sorry Bruce.

Butler killed it last night. He looked poised, dominant and had shit tons of chances. Looks like this kid is ready to pop and get some points. Over 18 minutes of ice time and 3 shots (seemed like he had more). BOLD PREDICTION: Ottawa sends Butler back to Binghamton tomorrow, they call him back the next day and return him back 2 hours later. Lehner is called up to fill out Butler's spot, they realise that he's a goaltender, send Lehner back and call up Wick, but he has to wear Butler's jersey. This Bingo shuffle has got to stop.

Site has changed a bit. Don't think it's as tough on the eyes as it was before.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Stranger Things Have Happened

(Photo via
As I mentioned yesterday, I have no time to do anything. So I decided to contribute some of my cynicism to a fantastic blog called The Cory Clouston Fashion Review.

Every person that reads my blog: "Isn't that a total contradiction, with you confessing that you have no time for your blog but you volunteer to contribute to another blog???" Me: "Yes. Yes it is."

If you haven't checked out the CCFR, you need to check your head. Head on over to and get your subscription on.

In honour of the CCFRers (and for allowing me to spew my nonsense on their blog), I will ask my fiancé to write a fashion review on Cory Clouston (spoiler: she's not impressed).


Monday, January 17, 2011

Why I Strongly Dislike the Leafs : Reason # 2

This will be a continuing series exploring all the reasons why I loathe the Leafs. There is no logic behind the order because my disdain cannot be ranked

Reason # 2: They continually cancel this parade that is supposed to happen on Yonge street. One day it's on. The next it's off. Annoying.

No Time = Lack of Updates

UPDATE: MY STRIKE IS OVER!! Thanks to the win over the Isles, I will get back to watching the Sens. Trying to figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Sorry for the lack of consistency in my posts. Speaking of lack of consistency, the Sens are 2 points behind the Leafs and the losses keep piling up. It can only go somewhere from here. I want to say up, but they need a couple wins before I can get back on the positive tip.

On the bright side, the Cloustonian Tie Color Effect has been updated and it looks like the Silver with Grey Stripes tie is the clear runaway winner at this point, with a whopping 2 wins and no losses. If anyone in the Senators organisation is reading, please pass this message to Cory.

My goal is to get a couple posts out a week until the end of January, then kick it up a notch by doing a post every 1 to 3 days for the rest of the year.

If you're reading this, thanks for the support.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Ottawa Sun Sports Headline Gold

I try to be somewhat creative with my post titles (I guess you can call them headlines). I've often wondered how the journalistic geniuses at the Ottawa Sun develop their brilliant headlines. This unlimited series will display these life changing nuggets of literary gold as they become available to us unworthy troglodytes.

From the online edition published on January 11th 2010:

Stinky Sens Lay Big Fat Egg


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Strike! I'm Out!

UPDATE: As I'm posting this, the Sens are getting destroyed by the Bruins 6 - 0 in the early minutes of the 3rd.

Call it laziness. Or even the back to work and reality kick in the ass. Or a hockey strike. Yes that's it. I'm on an official back to work, lazy ass, dreaming of turkey hockey strike. That loss to the Leafs was the beginning of the strike and will continue until they win. During this period I will not go out of my way to try to watch this team slog their way through a game. I will, however, keep up with my regular readings and comment with the help of said articles and judge the team based on box scores. As unfair as analyzing on stats alone might be...that's the way its gonna be.

Strike: day 11

Great news! Kovalev is out for a week! Jimmy O gets the call again to replace the injured winger (who has been playing with a bobo for a minute). I've seen some folks yearning for Locke to get a call up to provide some O in the Big O. There's a reason why he played in the Habs farm system for all those years. Its because he's a great AHLer. That's about it folks! Nothing else to cry or worry about here.

Meanwhile Lehner is now the proud owner of a Greyhound frequent traveller card commuting back and forth between Ottawa and Bingo. I saw that he might get a start this week even though Mike Brodeur is backing up tonight. I've seen MacDonalds managers that have a better grasp on their team.

Union Due Arrears

I had this itching feeling about that gold medal game last week. Once I noticed that Marcus Foligno was playing like Nick Foligno, the end was near. I missed the first 8 minutes of the third...late night chores (somebody has to wash the dishes) and probably some show about weddings was on TV (can't blame my fiancé for my inability to track time). As a Canadian hockey fan I was happy with the 3-0 lead. Who wouldn't be? But in the back of my twisted little mind I needed some excitement with a dab of drama. I got it in maple leaf shaped spades. Drama turned into shock. Shock turned into disbelief. Disbelief turned into a bunch of Russian kids yelling shout outs to their moms in their native tongue into the camera. And then the vodka.

Thoughts on Shuffle

The Senator from the NHL's Guardian Project revealed!! Strength: 20 year old, 170lbs Swede. Weakness: A one man forecheck by the opposing team (photo via
- Who would win in a fight? The NHL Super Heroes or Alpha Flight sans Wolverine (who is a reserve due to his citizenship, bub)? On the one hand you have third rate supers and on the other...third rate supers. Result: the most epic crossover mega failure in comicdom. And for some strange reason, the Bettman destroys both teams and colonizes the southern US to save humanity. The only hockey heroes left? The Penguin and Capital who will be forced to mate and create a super marketing tool of evil duper hero.

- Karlsson is Ottawa's rep for the all-star game which is cool. He'll kill it in the "giveaways that lead to deflating goals" competition. Joining him will be Kovalchuk, Thornton and Duncan Keith. Spezza is a reserve for this display of skills since he's still injured.

- If I see one more sign that has "Eh" on it made by a Canadian at an international competition, I might go Rypien on someone.

- So when is Kuba getting traded? Oh! He makes that much a season? That's tough to trade. At least he'll be off the cap after this year. He's signed until when??!!

- Wellwood signed with the Blues after his stint over in Mother Russia. Ottawa Senators, consider this opportunity officially missed. Kinda funny that the Blues have a growing population of former Leafs, and are in the same position this year.

- Speaking of the Leafs, they are tied in points with the Sens, but get out of the Northeastern basement thanks to one less game played. Looks like the Sens are in the running to compete for the Daigle Cup!


Sunday, January 2, 2011

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...

...Get Those Heads-a-Rollin'. (Photo via )
The Leafs and Sens played nationally on the CBC last night, so I watched the Winter Classic. Even though Ottawa haven't played on a Saturday night in what seems like an eternity (especially on the CBC), they found a way to show the country that they are a bottom tier team that is close to hitting rock bottom. 5 unanswered goals by the Leafs to start the game. How can you possibly come back from such a huge deficit?

This might feel like an ongoing theme throughout my posts over the last few weeks but....Kuba. Is this shit for real? Is Clouston trying to get his ass fired? He's a giveaway machine that doesn't understand the fundamentals of defense. Speed and efficiency are not a part of his lexicon. Is Wade Redden available on the cheap?

Chris "The Truth" Neil

Here's the line on Neil's game last night: 10:10 TOI, 3 shots, 5 hits and 3 penalties for 17 PIMs. The whole world knows that he's a warrior and I sometimes wonder how much other teams would love to have him on their roster. If you haven't read the Ottawa Sun article titled "Neil calls out teammates ... again", here's the brief breakdown:

The frustration level is definitely there. I think you need every one to compete hard, finish checks, get pucks in deep.

The simple truth: get out there, bring the highest level of competition and do the work to make you successful.

You need every one on the same page. We didn't have that tonight. I think the first period and a half in Columbus, we didn’t have that either.

The fundamentals of a successful hockey club: be prepared and stay focused for 60 minutes. Not a ridiculous claim.
It’s like you think you have a switch and you can turn it on, but it doesn’t work that way. You’ve got to go out and work hard every shift.

Back in the good old days, they had a "score on demand" switch which left when most of the talent was purged or walked away. This theoretical switch needs to be on when the National anthems are getting their run through.

Obviously, the other team is going to have some chances as well, but it’s how you rebound from them. We weren’t able to do that tonight.

This is the story of the season in a puckshell.  Neil is know for throwing bombs via fists and hits. Last night he dropped some serious truth bombs. I don't see these post game comments as calling out his teammates. Everyone knows what he was talking about and someone needed to say it.

Wherein Melnyk is Losing his Friggin' Mind

You can imagine where Melnyk's head is at right now. I heard from a friend who knows someone that works at Scotiabank Place that the Owner will clean shop, meaning Murray and Clouston, during the All-Star break. I know, I know...the whole "I heard some juicy news from a friend's friends second cousin who works at the arena who happened to walk by the dressing room at the right time" bullshit is lame, but I kinda believe it. Melnyk is losing patience fast and these changes are inevitable.

When the Sens were the Beast in the East, the team was built on defense. As much as pundits harped on Jacques Martin, his defensive system was effective. The only knock on the team was the goal tending. They were dominating teams by forcing turnovers and capitalizing on their mistakes. The table has turned. Opposing teams are doing this to your favorite club and there is no quick solution to remedy this.

Gimme What I Want

I heard a rumor. Murray has received calls for both Phillips and Fisher from interested teams. I say pull that trigger and get 'er done (no trade and no movement clauses pending of course). This would be the perfect time to get the youth movement started and give them the experience they need to get this team back on the right track. Once Kovalev, Ruutu and Leclaire are off the books, there will be more opportunity for the kids to get in that lineup...Can't believe that Kuba is under contract next year. Besides buying him out, what else can be done? Pull a Sather and throw him in the minors. Oh man I would love to see that.

Next game is against the Blackhawks in Chi-Town. O'Brien and Brodeur have been sent back down which, in my opinion, is a mistake. This might be a temporary assignment since they have 5 days off. That's what I'm hoping.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Comeback Futility

(photo via )

Great game in Columbus last night. I had written them off as dead after the 3rd Blue Jacket goal but they thankfully proved me wrong. Alfie had a great game netting the equalizer in the 3rd and it looked like he could've scored a few more. Kuba also looked great in the press box. I read that he'll be back in the lineup tonight against the Leafs while Lee will be the healthy scratch. Ruutu is also sitting out to allow O'Brian to play in his second career game.

Minny Jimmy was by far the most aggressive Ottawa forward. He skated hard, took shots and fought for the puck. Now I'm no NHL coach but I never like seeing the bench shortened with your best line taken out of the equation. The Jimmy-Jesse-Zachy line were creating chances all night. Common sense would dictate more ice time. Clouston sense says no. I would expect a rookie to bobble the puck in OT but Kovalev played that role, which ended up being the game winning giveaway. The team will take the point on the road.

Also caught the Canada/Sweden tilt which was very entertaining. The Swedes deserved that win since they took it to the Canadians for the better part of the third and OT. Lehner made the key saves (and also let in some questionable goals). The future looks bright for the Senators with Lehner and Cowan in the wings.

Leafs are in Ottawa on this first day of 2011. A perfect way to start off the New Year.

All the best to you and yours in the year before the 2012 apocalypse. Hope you all have a successful year.