Monday, February 28, 2011

Damn it! or The Deleted Agony and Ensuing Anger

( photo via )
Here's my crappy post since I somehow deleted the real one on my Blackberry...

Campoli traded.

Phillips signs for 3 years.

Leafs are on the cusp of not making the playoffs again.

Ottawa Sun will have a headline with "Trade Dud-line" in it.

I still love my Berry, but God Damn!!!


Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Beginning is The End is the Beginning: Bald Billy Corgan Edition

YOU SUCK LIKE JAMES IHA! ( photo kinda via )
The next points will allow you to find out if you're are a spoiled brat NHL fan. If more than one of these apply to you, consider yourself either a) a bitch ass homer or b) a Leafs fan:

- Your team played poorly all season, and you're telling everyone you know that they should blow up this team. You also get very angry after every loss.

- After your team played poorly all season, they start winning a few games. You find a need to start bitching about the wins since it will reduce the teams chance to get that #1 overall pick in the draft.

- A player that has been with your team for 150 gerbil years tries to squash trade rumors swirling around him. This player wants to stay and help this team get back to their winning ways. You believe that he's acting selfishly and should be a man, waive his NTC, let the team get prospects or picks for his rental services and resign with that same team that traded him. That is totally fair.

- You believe that not making it to the playoffs is better than squeaking in and getting blasted by a top 4 seed. Experience means nothing, especially if your team is built around youth.

Today (or a couple days ago) Is the Greatest Day I've Ever Known

The Great Crtl-Alt-Del of 2011 continues with the departure of KHL All-Star Alexei Kovalev. On his birthday no less. Ottawa gets 100 jumbo hotdogs, 102 hotdog buns, a set of Zamboni tires(slightly used) and 4 milk crates for pucks. A part of me believes that this is too little too late. The other part says good riddance. The Euge will save about a hundred trillion this year (prorated based on his 3 hundred trillion billion deal) by dumping the Frustrating One.

Sir, best of luck with the Penguins and I hope you enjoy your Captaincy with the Kazakhstan Killers next season.

Despite all my Rage I need to Start Posting more Frequently And I'm Still Just a Rat in a Cage

The Sens won a couple, lost one yesterday and play Philly tonight.

Everyone's money is on the Flyers tonight, but don't be surprised if the Sens keep it within a 6 goal deficit for the loss tonight.

In the words of the Great Billy Corgan : "I fucking told you that this town sucks! Did I fucking tell you this town sucks? I fucking told you. I didn't want to play here."


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Crisis On Infinite Rinks

Who would've thought that Kelly was worth a second round pick? Boston did. The Bruins are winding up for a long playoff run with the addition of Kelly, who does basically everything well except scoring. This leaves me wondering how many more Senators (past and present) the Bruins will attempt to acquire. The Rumor mongerers believe that Phillips is on his way to Beantown for some more picks. I have more to say about Phillips later in the post, so please keep reading.

Conrad from the CCFR made a great point: What the hell is Burke, the Leafs overlord, doing with his roster? He traded a young forward for picks (they desperately need them) one day. Then he trades for a boat-full of truculence in the form of Voros for a very low draft pick. So what's the deal? 1 goal for and 2 goals against (this is my failed play on the whole 1 step forward 2 steps back saying. It is a fail since I had to explain it.) Murray is surprisingly doing this the right way; trade roster players of value for picks or prospects. Mission accomplished. 3 picks acquired over the last week, close to 8 milli purged from the cap and no salary taken in return. Looks like Gramps wants to keep his job. As the Death Cart passes through Scotiabank Place, Murray claims that he's not dead, right before the Sensamaniacs are winding up to club the old man in the noggin. This Shawvillian Villain is trying to show the Euge that he's still got it. He does not. Bring the change.

Time Crisis

The Sens played well against the Isles last night since they were down to 4 defensmen. Karlsson clocked in at 30 + minutes. The Kid can and will play. The real crisis is extra time, and not blaming the loss on injuries. The Sens improved their league leading overtime drought by losing in a shoot out. They are now 0 - 9 in extra frames this year. How lame is that? The rotten cherry on top of this pile of lameness; it took them 57 games to score a goal in the shootout. This goal was brought to you by the Russian Riddler, Kovalev, who will be appearing on a team near you.

Holy C(h)ris(t)is

Since the Fisher trade, Butler has stepped up huge in his absence. 2 multi point games in a row for a total of 4. It definitely helps when your center is Spezza. It took BB time to get rolling and he's showing that he belongs in the Bigs. He can be blamed for the Isles go ahead goal due to blown defensive coverage but let's cut him a bit of slack, right? They were playing the Isles. We can expect to see this quite often over the next 2 or 3 season from the kids. It's not like he put the puck in his own net during the Stanley Cup final. Speak of the devil...

Crisis of Priorities or Loyalty Win?

Raise your hand if you've hated on Phillips this season? Sooooo that's pretty much everybody in the Sens blogosphere. I've defended him more times than not over the last few months. We all realize that he hasn't been the same since Volchenkov left. Phillips lost his best bro and his defensive partner for years. With that said, he hasn't been the same, but we all know what he brings to the rink every night; logs tons of minutes, used heavily on the PK and plays against the opposing team's top forward line. If you were crying about Kelly leaving, you will straight up have a psychotic breakdown if Big Rig packs his bags.

So the man doesn't want to leave. From the Ottawa Sun:

“I do and I know people will call me crazy for saying that," Phillips said, "but I think you need some veteran guys that have been around to help and guide the young guys coming in. I’m okay and would take on that responsibility."

FYI Chris, you're not crazy. Phillips is the shit and this proves it big time. He's played his whole career for this organisation and wants to be a part of the solution. Phillips is not a part of the problem. Who else do we want training the likes of Cowan, Wiercioch and Gryba? He will provide stability on the blue line and will show them the ropes. I would be extremely upset if Murray trades him away, even if it's for more delicious draft picks. If he wants to stay with this team for real, he better sign a contract asap. I won't be able to take it if he decides to not waive his no-trade then walks away in the off season. It will be a flip out of Lehner proportion.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Fisher Gone: The Day After

( photo via

I was happy when I received the TSN alert about the Fisher trade to Nashville. This is the first move that will beckon a new era for Ottawa. I have no attachment to this player since a) I didn't know him personally and b) I thought he was ok. A complimentary player who worked his ass off "every shift" and didn't seem to have a bad bone in his body. Great in the community and loved by everyone in the city. But change is always good.

Here are some of the reasons why I'm ok with the trade:

- Ottawa received 2 draft picks. Talkin' about a rebuilding revolution.
- His time with the team was past due. He's 30 and his point production does not merit his salary.
- He gets to live in the city where his wife calls home. This might be a big shocker, but hockey players do have lives.
- His play has declined over the last couple years. I know that he was the leading scorer for the Sens last year with 25 goals, but that shows you how weak the team was.
- Frees up tons of cap space and allows a youngin' to step in.
- The official end of the old school Sens. Out with the old, in with the new.

Let me make this clear: he was an integral part of this team for years. We should all be thankful for his 11 years of service. Do I feel bad that he's been traded? No. He is not sad about it either. He's playing for a team in a playoff spot and his wife lives there. Is this a case of Janet Jones-ism? Quite possibly...and if it is who cares? Fisher has a right to have a happy life with his superstar wife. Do we care that a crappy Ottawa radio station banned Carrie Underwood from their station (even though they never play her JC friendly jams)? That's a parliament sized hell no. Do I have a strange habit of answering my own questions? Most definitely.

Fisher represent the Senators old school core of players. Everybody and their sisters are upset and sad about all this. At the same time, everybody was yelling bloody murder and wanted to push down on the dynamite blast machine to blow up this team. It's finally happening. The dawn of a new ice age begins now at Scotiabank Place. Fisher et al. had their chance at taking this franchise to the next level by winning a cup. They were dominant for close to 10 years. A top 5 team. Those days are long gone as we've all painfully witnessed this season. You shouldn't be sad about Fisher leaving. You should be sad about the next 2 to 4 years for the Sens. It's going to be agonizing to watch. This is what happens to a team that does not prepare for the future (like Detroit) and is on the rebuild. The quick fix doesn't fix shit. It usually backfires and you have nothing to show for it (Stillman, Comrie, Beaupre, the list goes on and on...) The Leafs can attest to this for their teams, present and past.

So long Mike. You were sometimes excellent, mostly a blue collar factory worker who always punched in with vigor for his next shift. Your time came and went. It's time for you to find a new church in the Country Music Capital. All the best...and thanks for all the Fish.

You can read my Mike Fisher obituary on the Cory Clouston Fashion Review right here.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fisher Gone

Saw this coming a country mile away. Sens trade Fisher to Nashville for 2 draft picks. Most excellent.


Sunday, February 6, 2011

3 for 1 sale: Brown Paper Bag Extravaganza.

Locate your eyes.
Followed by the mouth.
Start cutting away to create your very own custom Senators paper bag of shame! Using the scissors to cut your wrists is optional. (All photos via

The Sens are number negative goal differential with a mind boggling -57. They are the 27th worst team in the league. In other news, Spezza is back. Clouston is coaching (if you want to call it that). Kuba still sucks.

My prediction did not come to fruition. I saw the future and stated that the Sens would break their losing skid by beating the Isles. This was after the Sens beat them in January. Sweet Sidorkiewicz...I can't remember the last time it was this bad.

Here's your post all-star 3 game recap:

Empty Bag of Tricks

The Devils decided to start playing hockey again. And they beat the Sens 2 to 1. Didn't get to watch this game, but from I saw in the highlights they were beat by another broken play. A bounce, bad luck, and a goal. Lehner held his own. The Sens were terribly outshot 33 to 16. The Devils had the same amount of shots in the second period as the Sens had in the entire game. 

Kovalev is starting to heat up as he scores the only goal in the game. Clouston still hates him.

"Too Much Breaks the Bag" - Spanish Proverb

The Sens scored 5 goals!! Only problem is that Detroit scored 7. 

The Sens 6th goal, which was called a "no goal" on the ice before they consuted the NHL war room, was a killer. That denied marker would've tied the game up. I didn't understand why the refs reviewed that goal since it really didn't matter if it crossed the line or not. It was immediately waved off  thanks to that "intent to whistle" bullshit. So, that was the end of that game.

I would love to be a coach for a week. Aside from the hookers and drug buffets, I'm positive that it would be tons of fun. Here's the reason I'm saying this: I would have given Lehner the chance to finish the 2nd period, if not the entire game. Inspector Clouston yanked the young Swede after he surrendered the 4th Detroit goal. It was 4-3 in the 2nd with 10 minutes left. Everything was going in that night. The worst possible scenario happened...enter: Elliott. He thanked the coach by letting in a soft goal by Franzen, who shot from the hash marks. No screen. No deflection. 

Kovalev gets 2 goals making him the Senators MVP this year. He's so in line for a raise next season...with a different team.

Pack Those Bags

The most anticipated match up from Saturday's lineup of games: the 29th ranked team versus the 27th. There hasn't been this much buzz around a televised program since Seinfeld's "The Contest" was on it's 100th rerun. In one of the best coaching moves in recent memory, Clouston decided to put in Elliott even though Lehner beat the Isles in his last start. The result: Elliott shits the bed yet again. Lehner is put into the game to start the 2nd period.

Kovalev scored his 4th goal in 3 games which brings his total to 11. For those of you keeping track out there in the blogosphere, Kovalev scored 7 goals in 44 games before his streak of hotness. Truly, by definition, the poster boy for consistency.

The highlight of the game was Lehner standing his ground and letting the world know that getting in his way is a no-no. The 2nd period was over and Lehner was skating to the dressing room. Poulin, the Isles 5th string goalie, was skating on the same path as Lehner. It was a game of goalie chicken. Lehner decided to throw out an elbow for good measure and knocked Poulin on his ass. The 2 were seperated but it looked like the young Swede wanted to brawl. This kid is fiery. You might say he's a hot head, but he's also only 19. This is why I believe this is significant: this team needs a new attitude and Lehner has kick started the character shift. He hates to lose. I hate it when the Sens lose. We're going to be good friends.

The Ottawa Senators are on their annual Canadian west coast swing, playing the Canucks on Monday night. They return to the 613 on Wednesday, February 15th, against those Isles again. Man, I hope they end this streak before then.


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Cory Clouston Fashion Review..For Real

(photo via
I convinced my fiancĂ© to write a fashion review of everybody's favorite Ottawa Senators coach. In case you didn't know, I've been contributing to another blog, the Cory Clouston Fashion Review, and I thought it would be fitting for it to appear on that blog instead of the one your reading right now.

Here's the direct link to the post:

And my fiancĂ©'s tumblr page, which you should tell your significant other about, or follow yourself.

Lehner starts tonight, Greening gets his first NHL appearance, Butler is your AHL all star MVP and the last, painful part of the season starts now!