The Beginning is The End is the Beginning: Bald Billy Corgan Edition

YOU SUCK LIKE JAMES IHA! ( photo kinda via huffingtonpost.com )

The next points will allow you to find out if you're are a spoiled brat NHL fan. If more than one of these apply to you, consider yourself either a) a bitch ass homer or b) a Leafs fan:

- Your team played poorly all season, and you're telling everyone you know that they should blow up this team. You also get very angry after every loss.

- After your team played poorly all season, they start winning a few games. You find a need to start bitching about the wins since it will reduce the teams chance to get that #1 overall pick in the draft.

- A player that has been with your team for 150 gerbil years tries to squash trade rumors swirling around him. This player wants to stay and help this team get back to their winning ways. You believe that he's acting selfishly and should be a man, waive his NTC, let the team get prospects or picks for his rental services and resign with that same team that traded him. That is totally fair.

- You believe that not making it to the playoffs is better than squeaking in and getting blasted by a top 4 seed. Experience means nothing, especially if your team is built around youth.

Today (or a couple days ago) Is the Greatest Day I've Ever Known

The Great Crtl-Alt-Del of 2011 continues with the departure of KHL All-Star Alexei Kovalev. On his birthday no less. Ottawa gets 100 jumbo hotdogs, 102 hotdog buns, a set of Zamboni tires(slightly used) and 4 milk crates for pucks. A part of me believes that this is too little too late. The other part says good riddance. The Euge will save about a hundred trillion this year (prorated based on his 3 hundred trillion billion deal) by dumping the Frustrating One.

Sir, best of luck with the Penguins and I hope you enjoy your Captaincy with the Kazakhstan Killers next season.

Despite all my Rage I need to Start Posting more Frequently And I'm Still Just a Rat in a Cage

The Sens won a couple, lost one yesterday and play Philly tonight.

Everyone's money is on the Flyers tonight, but don't be surprised if the Sens keep it within a 6 goal deficit for the loss tonight.

In the words of the Great Billy Corgan : "I fucking told you that this town sucks! Did I fucking tell you this town sucks? I fucking told you. I didn't want to play here."

-MP

Crisis On Infinite Rinks

Who would've thought that Kelly was worth a second round pick? Boston did. The Bruins are winding up for a long playoff run with the addition of Kelly, who does basically everything well except scoring. This leaves me wondering how many more Senators (past and present) the Bruins will attempt to acquire. The Rumor mongerers believe that Phillips is on his way to Beantown for some more picks. I have more to say about Phillips later in the post, so please keep reading.

Conrad from the CCFR made a great point: What the hell is Burke, the Leafs overlord, doing with his roster? He traded a young forward for picks (they desperately need them) one day. Then he trades for a boat-full of truculence in the form of Voros for a very low draft pick. So what's the deal? 1 goal for and 2 goals against (this is my failed play on the whole 1 step forward 2 steps back saying. It is a fail since I had to explain it.) Murray is surprisingly doing this the right way; trade roster players of value for picks or prospects. Mission accomplished. 3 picks acquired over the last week, close to 8 milli purged from the cap and no salary taken in return. Looks like Gramps wants to keep his job. As the Death Cart passes through Scotiabank Place, Murray claims that he's not dead, right before the Sensamaniacs are winding up to club the old man in the noggin. This Shawvillian Villain is trying to show the Euge that he's still got it. He does not. Bring the change.

Time Crisis

The Sens played well against the Isles last night since they were down to 4 defensmen. Karlsson clocked in at 30 + minutes. The Kid can and will play. The real crisis is extra time, and not blaming the loss on injuries. The Sens improved their league leading overtime drought by losing in a shoot out. They are now 0 - 9 in extra frames this year. How lame is that? The rotten cherry on top of this pile of lameness; it took them 57 games to score a goal in the shootout. This goal was brought to you by the Russian Riddler, Kovalev, who will be appearing on a team near you.

Holy C(h)ris(t)is

Since the Fisher trade, Butler has stepped up huge in his absence. 2 multi point games in a row for a total of 4. It definitely helps when your center is Spezza. It took BB time to get rolling and he's showing that he belongs in the Bigs. He can be blamed for the Isles go ahead goal due to blown defensive coverage but let's cut him a bit of slack, right? They were playing the Isles. We can expect to see this quite often over the next 2 or 3 season from the kids. It's not like he put the puck in his own net during the Stanley Cup final. Speak of the devil...

Crisis of Priorities or Loyalty Win?

Raise your hand if you've hated on Phillips this season? Sooooo that's pretty much everybody in the Sens blogosphere. I've defended him more times than not over the last few months. We all realize that he hasn't been the same since Volchenkov left. Phillips lost his best bro and his defensive partner for years. With that said, he hasn't been the same, but we all know what he brings to the rink every night; logs tons of minutes, used heavily on the PK and plays against the opposing team's top forward line. If you were crying about Kelly leaving, you will straight up have a psychotic breakdown if Big Rig packs his bags.

So the man doesn't want to leave. From the Ottawa Sun:

“I do and I know people will call me crazy for saying that," Phillips said, "but I think you need some veteran guys that have been around to help and guide the young guys coming in. I’m okay and would take on that responsibility."

FYI Chris, you're not crazy. Phillips is the shit and this proves it big time. He's played his whole career for this organisation and wants to be a part of the solution. Phillips is not a part of the problem. Who else do we want training the likes of Cowan, Wiercioch and Gryba? He will provide stability on the blue line and will show them the ropes. I would be extremely upset if Murray trades him away, even if it's for more delicious draft picks. If he wants to stay with this team for real, he better sign a contract asap. I won't be able to take it if he decides to not waive his no-trade then walks away in the off season. It will be a flip out of Lehner proportion.

-MP

3 for 1 sale: Brown Paper Bag Extravaganza.

Locate your eyes.

Followed by the mouth.

Start cutting away to create your very own custom Senators paper bag of shame! Using the scissors to cut your wrists is optional. (All photos via ehow.com)

The Sens are number 1...in negative goal differential with a mind boggling -57. They are the 27th worst team in the league. In other news, Spezza is back. Clouston is coaching (if you want to call it that). Kuba still sucks.

My prediction did not come to fruition. I saw the future and stated that the Sens would break their losing skid by beating the Isles. This was after the Sens beat them in January. Sweet Sidorkiewicz...I can't remember the last time it was this bad.

Here's your post all-star 3 game recap:

Empty Bag of Tricks

The Devils decided to start playing hockey again. And they beat the Sens 2 to 1. Didn't get to watch this game, but from I saw in the highlights they were beat by another broken play. A bounce, bad luck, and a goal. Lehner held his own. The Sens were terribly outshot 33 to 16. The Devils had the same amount of shots in the second period as the Sens had in the entire game. 

Kovalev is starting to heat up as he scores the only goal in the game. Clouston still hates him.

"Too Much Breaks the Bag" - Spanish Proverb

The Sens scored 5 goals!! Only problem is that Detroit scored 7. 

The Sens 6th goal, which was called a "no goal" on the ice before they consuted the NHL war room, was a killer. That denied marker would've tied the game up. I didn't understand why the refs reviewed that goal since it really didn't matter if it crossed the line or not. It was immediately waved off  thanks to that "intent to whistle" bullshit. So, that was the end of that game.

I would love to be a coach for a week. Aside from the hookers and drug buffets, I'm positive that it would be tons of fun. Here's the reason I'm saying this: I would have given Lehner the chance to finish the 2nd period, if not the entire game. Inspector Clouston yanked the young Swede after he surrendered the 4th Detroit goal. It was 4-3 in the 2nd with 10 minutes left. Everything was going in that night. The worst possible scenario happened...enter: Elliott. He thanked the coach by letting in a soft goal by Franzen, who shot from the hash marks. No screen. No deflection. 


Kovalev gets 2 goals making him the Senators MVP this year. He's so in line for a raise next season...with a different team.

Pack Those Bags

The most anticipated match up from Saturday's lineup of games: the 29th ranked team versus the 27th. There hasn't been this much buzz around a televised program since Seinfeld's "The Contest" was on it's 100th rerun. In one of the best coaching moves in recent memory, Clouston decided to put in Elliott even though Lehner beat the Isles in his last start. The result: Elliott shits the bed yet again. Lehner is put into the game to start the 2nd period.


Kovalev scored his 4th goal in 3 games which brings his total to 11. For those of you keeping track out there in the blogosphere, Kovalev scored 7 goals in 44 games before his streak of hotness. Truly, by definition, the poster boy for consistency.


The highlight of the game was Lehner standing his ground and letting the world know that getting in his way is a no-no. The 2nd period was over and Lehner was skating to the dressing room. Poulin, the Isles 5th string goalie, was skating on the same path as Lehner. It was a game of goalie chicken. Lehner decided to throw out an elbow for good measure and knocked Poulin on his ass. The 2 were seperated but it looked like the young Swede wanted to brawl. This kid is fiery. You might say he's a hot head, but he's also only 19. This is why I believe this is significant: this team needs a new attitude and Lehner has kick started the character shift. He hates to lose. I hate it when the Sens lose. We're going to be good friends.


The Ottawa Senators are on their annual Canadian west coast swing, playing the Canucks on Monday night. They return to the 613 on Wednesday, February 15th, against those Isles again. Man, I hope they end this streak before then.


-MP 

Strike! I'm Out!

UPDATE: As I'm posting this, the Sens are getting destroyed by the Bruins 6 - 0 in the early minutes of the 3rd.

Call it laziness. Or even the back to work and reality kick in the ass. Or a hockey strike. Yes that's it. I'm on an official back to work, lazy ass, dreaming of turkey hockey strike. That loss to the Leafs was the beginning of the strike and will continue until they win. During this period I will not go out of my way to try to watch this team slog their way through a game. I will, however, keep up with my regular readings and comment with the help of said articles and judge the team based on box scores. As unfair as analyzing on stats alone might be...that's the way its gonna be.

Strike: day 11

Great news! Kovalev is out for a week! Jimmy O gets the call again to replace the injured winger (who has been playing with a bobo for a minute). I've seen some folks yearning for Locke to get a call up to provide some O in the Big O. There's a reason why he played in the Habs farm system for all those years. Its because he's a great AHLer. That's about it folks! Nothing else to cry or worry about here.

Meanwhile Lehner is now the proud owner of a Greyhound frequent traveller card commuting back and forth between Ottawa and Bingo. I saw that he might get a start this week even though Mike Brodeur is backing up tonight. I've seen MacDonalds managers that have a better grasp on their team. This.makes.absolutely.no.friggin.sense.

Union Due Arrears

I had this itching feeling about that gold medal game last week. Once I noticed that Marcus Foligno was playing like Nick Foligno, the end was near. I missed the first 8 minutes of the third...late night chores (somebody has to wash the dishes) and probably some show about weddings was on TV (can't blame my fiancé for my inability to track time). As a Canadian hockey fan I was happy with the 3-0 lead. Who wouldn't be? But in the back of my twisted little mind I needed some excitement with a dab of drama. I got it in maple leaf shaped spades. Drama turned into shock. Shock turned into disbelief. Disbelief turned into a bunch of Russian kids yelling shout outs to their moms in their native tongue into the camera. And then the vodka.

Thoughts on Shuffle

The Senator from the NHL's Guardian Project revealed!! Strength: 20 year old, 170lbs Swede. Weakness: A one man forecheck by the opposing team (photo via coloriage-enfant.eu)

- Who would win in a fight? The NHL Super Heroes or Alpha Flight sans Wolverine (who is a reserve due to his citizenship, bub)? On the one hand you have third rate supers and on the other...third rate supers. Result: the most epic crossover mega failure in comicdom. And for some strange reason, the Bettman destroys both teams and colonizes the southern US to save humanity. The only hockey heroes left? The Penguin and Capital who will be forced to mate and create a super marketing tool of evil duper hero.

- Karlsson is Ottawa's rep for the all-star game which is cool. He'll kill it in the "giveaways that lead to deflating goals" competition. Joining him will be Kovalchuk, Thornton and Duncan Keith. Spezza is a reserve for this display of skills since he's still injured.

- If I see one more sign that has "Eh" on it made by a Canadian at an international competition, I might go Rypien on someone.

- So when is Kuba getting traded? Oh! He makes that much a season? That's tough to trade. At least he'll be off the cap after this year. He's signed until when??!!

- Wellwood signed with the Blues after his stint over in Mother Russia. Ottawa Senators, consider this opportunity officially missed. Kinda funny that the Blues have a growing population of former Leafs, and are in the same position this year.

- Speaking of the Leafs, they are tied in points with the Sens, but get out of the Northeastern basement thanks to one less game played. Looks like the Sens are in the running to compete for the Daigle Cup!

-MP

Comeback Futility



(photo via bjjafter40.com )


Great game in Columbus last night. I had written them off as dead after the 3rd Blue Jacket goal but they thankfully proved me wrong. Alfie had a great game netting the equalizer in the 3rd and it looked like he could've scored a few more. Kuba also looked great in the press box. I read that he'll be back in the lineup tonight against the Leafs while Lee will be the healthy scratch. Ruutu is also sitting out to allow O'Brian to play in his second career game.

Minny Jimmy was by far the most aggressive Ottawa forward. He skated hard, took shots and fought for the puck. Now I'm no NHL coach but I never like seeing the bench shortened with your best line taken out of the equation. The Jimmy-Jesse-Zachy line were creating chances all night. Common sense would dictate more ice time. Clouston sense says no. I would expect a rookie to bobble the puck in OT but Kovalev played that role, which ended up being the game winning giveaway. The team will take the point on the road.

Also caught the Canada/Sweden tilt which was very entertaining. The Swedes deserved that win since they took it to the Canadians for the better part of the third and OT. Lehner made the key saves (and also let in some questionable goals). The future looks bright for the Senators with Lehner and Cowan in the wings.

Leafs are in Ottawa on this first day of 2011. A perfect way to start off the New Year.

All the best to you and yours in the year before the 2012 apocalypse. Hope you all have a successful year.

-MP

New Year's Resolutions (Besides Scoring More Goals)

UPDATE: According to the official Ottawa Senators twitter account, O'Brien and Lee are in, Kuba and Ruutu are out. Oh hell yeah!!

Kovalev let Murray know that he's doing a great job...no changes necessary (photo via randomjottings.net)

My plan to attend the game on Wednesday didn't come to fruition, which ended up not being such a huge loss (pun somewhat intended). As is always the case during the holidays, friends and family are first in line. 2nd is beer (which can be mixed with holiday option #1). 3rd is the World Junior Championship. And last but not least is pretty much everything else, from hockey to sleep.

All I saw from Wednesday night's game were the highlights from NHL.com and it looked like the Sens had their chances. I also cruised through the World O Senators blogs to get some background for this post and the conclusion is a 2 part breakdown: missed opportunities and weak defensive play.

It looked like Elliott let in a few softies with no thanks given to his first line of defense. Kuba....what more can be said about the high priced veteran? He brings nothing to this team except giveaways and turnovers.

Well it's time to go over a few New Year's resolutions for your favorite Ottawa based pro team located in Kanata:

Filip Kuba

Work on hitting offensive players from the opposing team, remember that clearing the puck out of the defensive zone is a good tactic and stop with the giveaways.

Mike Fisher

Take the rest of the season off to get healthy and realize that he's a 3rd line centre getting primo minutes. Be thankful.

Chris Kelly

Thank the good people at Easton for the magical sticks of goal scoring. Get more.

Alexei Kovalev

Ease off the saxophone practice and work on attacking the offensive zone alone against 5 defenders.

Jason Spezza

Stop crying himself to bed while clutching his Heatley plush doll and repeating "I'm a creative guy and those turnovers are gonna happen."

Cory Clouston

Buy a Hugo Boss suit and hire Ray Emery as his personal fashion advisor.

Erik Karlsson

Continue to embarrass the forwards on the team. Out: Two and a Half Men. In: CSI: Byward Market.

Brian Lee

Start a food vendor business at Scotiabank Place featuring the Lee Me Down: a battered deep fried burger topped with jalapeno cheese and chicken fingers (preferably dinosaur shaped) and 2 regular burger patties used as buns.

Daniel Alfredson

Keep doing what he does and continue to bleed out profusely for this team...and not complain about it. Can someone give this guy the fuckin Order of Canada already?

Bryan Murray

Get a nice letter of recommendation from Melnyk and ask players to give recommendations on LinkedIn.

New Year's Eve Showdown

Columbus is on tap tonight with Jim O'Brien getting the call up to play. So I'm assuming that Mr. Smith will hang out with Lee in the press box and Jimmy O will get his shot. Looking forward to seeing the kid play.

Also looking forward to the Canada / Sweden tilt today which will showcase the future of Ottawa's last line of defense: Lehner from Sweden and Cowen from Canada.

-MP